30.11.18

Today I had a good day! Definitely more eventful than usual, and more enjoyable than the other times I've gone to my dad's place. I think it all comes to me having a person I can comfortably converse with, and my dad sadly isn't one because we don't have common interests or sense of humor and I seem to need that to at least start to talk with someone (even though I definitely feel comfortable around him, it's just not easy to start conversations). But today there was my cousin S. dining with us, and before that I got to stay with him and watch him play KH, so that was fun! I would have been in a shy mood if hadn't had that, I think. Instead tonight at dinner I spoke a couple times with people other than my dad or my cousin, which is very different from my usual 'mute during all dinner' mood. It does depend on my mood: when I'm happier I'm more carefree, I talk more and louder; when i'm in a lower/apathetic mood I stay silent and respond with monosyllables, at low volume and mumbling. It shouldn't be more than a year that I noticed this to be honest, and I don't know why I do it but I do; as difficult as it is find something to say when I'm in a 'meh' mood, it always surprises me how easily sometimes I can converse with someone else (even a person I don't know well!) if I'm in a happier mood. (Also, it definitely helps if a person encourages me to talk.) I think I can pinpoint a before and after of this happening, but I don't exactly know how it happened or what made it happen, I just think that for sure multiple reasons contributed to it. Even if I'm slow I'm realizing things by myself little by little, and I definitely want to work on this more and realize what throws me off and how can I improve at talking with people in all situations.
These were just some thoughts I had in mind, so I decided to jot them down - I also wanted to make a new post! This site feels comfortable for writing blog-like stuff ~
I don't know the possibilities of anyone reading this, but I hope you had a good day ☆

!!!

It's already 1 almost 2am and I'm kind of sleepy but,, I found a 98k subaek,,, and I feel like I can't resist that ,,, but also I will 100% fall asleep while reading it hjdvhbj so I think I should wait until tomorrow rip ,,,, I'll probably read other fanfics to quench my thirst tho lmao but !! tomorrow is definitely the day hdjfb

(Also, beside becoming more junmyeon biased everyday, I'm still in my Bianca Del Rio phase djfh I think soon I'll rewatch Hurricane Bianca a second time even though not even a week passed yet hjbdf)(I'm gonna add a couple of young bianca pics because I can't get over them)



(and this 2010 interview !!!! omg)

"Bianca Del Rio: Hardest Working Costumer in America" (Watch on YouTube)

Seju !!!

The first episode of Memories of the Alhambra come out today and Chanyeol's character is the tiniest and softest character he's ever played! I have to wait until the 11th of december to watch the drama and I can't wait, I really like his character and the plot seems interesting! Before that I also have to finish Richman (I literally have only one episode left...) and I wanted to start Miracles That We Met, I've seen a lot of spoilers when it came out and it looks really good...
But back to Seju, I really really want to see how his character develops. People brought this to my attention and to be honest he does seem to have many neurodiverse traits, but I have no idea how and if they'll develop the character in that aspect. For now, I just know that I'm intrigued, that it's a character that suits Chanyeol and his softness, and that he's super cute. I'm adding a few pics/gifs because to be honest he's too precious not to 🌼




This scene !!! He's honestly so so so soft, I can't wait to see more!